Pure Flow State with Adele Kelly
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[00:00:00] Welcome. Welcome to the heads together. Podcast. Ooh, I could something a bit different for you this week. I had the absolute pleasure of being interviewed by the wonderful Adele Kelly for her LinkedIn live show. Pure flow state. And I thought it would be fun to share it with you. This week, because it was such a good conversation and I think you'll enjoy it.
So, if you would like to find out more about Adele, I'll pop the links you need into the show notes. But without further ado, let's dive into this super conversation.
Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Purely Flowing podcast. I'm Adele, I'm founder of Pure Flow State, and we specialize in sustainable brand strategy for purpose led businesses. And the name Pure Flow State comes from the concept of flow state, [00:01:00] which was coined by an Michal Csikszentmihalyi to describe a state.
of pure bliss. When whatever it is that you're doing just absorbs your whole time. You don't notice time passing away and you can do whatever it is that you're doing forever. And who wouldn't love that for their brand? And we work with brands to help them achieve that working from the inside out, getting everything aligned so that they can connect with the people who need them on the outside.
So these sessions are about talking to friends and business owners about how they get into the flow. And what their experience is of it, and hopefully everybody will get some inspiration in their life and their brand about how to be in harmony. So my guest this week is Gill Moakes. She is a business coach.
And a podcast host also, and I'm really [00:02:00] excited to have her here with me today. Welcome, Gill. How are you flowing this week? Hi Adele, thank you for having me. I am flowing beautifully this week. I love. It's been a really good week. I love to hear that. It always helps when the sun's shining, isn't it? Yeah, absolutely.
So tell me, Gill, what is your experience of flow state in general? I love, I love this concept of flow state. I really love it. And I think you know, a lot of us kind of go through life, don't we? Without really stopping and thinking, does this feel in flow? Or am I going through the motions or even enjoying this?
And I think I'm, I think latterly I'd say last sort of 10 years or so. Do I absolutely. I'm so aware of, of when I'm in flow and when I'm not, I think that was always that way, but I think, yeah, really over the last sort of 10 or so years [00:03:00] I'm acutely aware now of what it feels like to be in the flow state and not.
Yeah, so was there anything specific that triggered that change in you? Well, do you think it was just a coming of age where you started to think about those things as you were moving through life professions and, and everything? I, well, I actually had lost my husband to cancer back in 2016, so it was such a big Yeah, it was great.
life change. And up until then, I'd been working in a corporate job. I'd really been going through the motions to be quite honest. And I'd wanted to start my own business for a long time, but I, you know, I did the thing that so many people do. I told myself this story that, well, there's, you know, I only know corporate insurance and there's nothing else I actually know how to do.
So I'll have to do that forever. Which wasn't true. But I suppose really since then, since making that really big decision, I mean, I, I quit my job with nothing else to go to. And [00:04:00] yeah, and I think taking away the plan B makes you really good at succeeding with your plan A. Yeah. I get that. I get that totally because I've, I've seen it.
Seen that in the way that you kind of, you've got an idea, you want to do a side a side hustle. It ends up being, you know, that's your passion where it is. But when you've got your kind of like main income stream or, you know, maybe you're still doing a job, you never actually a hundred percent give yourself to anything, do you?
Because you've always got this in the background and yeah, it's a big leap to let everything go. So that must have been quite scary for you at the time. Yes, it was. I can remember thinking, what am I doing? But do you know what? It was interesting. I actually think it made everything that came next easier for me because I was able to go all in.
And [00:05:00] I needed to make it successful. You know, there was no one else was going to be paying my mortgage. I needed it to be a success. And I think that was my first lesson in kind of playing big, really albeit I can now see from where I am now, I can look back and think, actually, I didn't really play big with my first business.
My first business was kind of like a modified version of what I really wanted to do. It was the kind of business I, so I didn't start as a business coach, I started as a virtual assistant. I know now that that was really my version of well, I know I want to work remotely and I know I want to work online and I don't really care what I do.
I just want to be able to make some money. Yeah. And that business I really loved for a while because it was ticking those boxes of the freedom. And then this is like, interesting of how aware you become when you're out of flow. And I [00:06:00] suddenly thought, Oh, I've just literally created myself another job.
Yeah. I feel like I just have a job again, but the only difference is I now have lots of different bosses. Yeah. So that was, that was a little bit of playing small and I think that was when I fell in love with coaching because I, I had an experience of coaching and realized that actually this changes everything.
I can now do things that I never thought I would be able to do or even try. And I suppose that's led me to where I am now, which is where I get to help other women do that. And that is what really fills the flow for me. Yeah. And I totally hear what you're saying. You know, that transition that you did was kind of still very much in the background, really, wasn't it?
You know, like, you know, you're essentially running a business in a lot of senses, you know, because there's lots of different types of virtual assistants doing lots of different things. But to [00:07:00] the point where, you know, you could be, An online business manager, which is essentially running another business, really, you know, this is what I did.
Yeah, I promoted myself one night by changing my email signature from VA to online business manager. That is the honest truth. And then when people say to me, so how did you make that leap from VA to online business manager to business coach? I'm like, well, I just changed my email signature again. I just literally, and that was the honest truth.
I just. just changed it. And for me, that was it. I am now a business coach. And since then, obviously, I've studied and I've become an accredited coach. But I think so often we really overthink what we have to do to make a big change. And actually, Do you know what? Sometimes it is as simple as changing an email signature because you're the only one that needs convincing really.
Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I mean, that's the whole topic in itself, isn't it? Really? Like we are the only [00:08:00] ones that need convincing of that because everybody else can see it somehow. We can't or we deny it to ourselves because it's especially as women, it's, it's a big thing to take up space, isn't it? And it's a big thing to be visible as well.
And, you know, I've been honest about this this week in a post like, you know, for me, I didn't want to be on social media. I felt extremely uncomfortable. And that was one of the reasons that I started this podcast as well, as I thought, how am I going to get over my, my fear or this block that I've got with, with visibility and, you know, taking up space and being seen and being heard, I'm going to do a podcast.
And. You know, and I absolutely love it. It's like, honestly, my favorite part of the week. I really, really love speaking to all these amazing people. And but it's a thing. It's a thing. Yeah, I think that [00:09:00] this kind of you hit the nail on the head there, really this taking up space or claiming your space and being really courageous about showing up, I think is huge for women.
I think, and I think we have to fight harder for our space and I think it's harder for us to embrace visibility too. And, but that doesn't mean it's less important. It's probably more important for us too. And that's something I work with clients on a lot. It's one of the most important things when it comes to building a business, you know, there's lots of there's all of the strategy that goes into building a business.
But actually, you know what your personal brand and your thought leadership are really the things that are going to position you as someone where. The clients and the work comes as a almost as a side effect as a byproduct of your own [00:10:00] positioning as a leader, as a, as a business owner. And I think, so I think for the people like for yourself, Adele, you just said, you know, you found that difficult that stepping into that visibility and we have to do that courageous thing.
Don't we have to make a choice that we're going to do it, even though it's uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah, through it. And coming out the other side, I see this all the time. Stories like yours where people are like, now it's my most favorite thing to do. And it's not easy. You know, I remember like when I started my podcast, I've been podcasting for a couple of years now.
And I remember when I started like just talking to what felt like talking to a green dog. Because I wasn't, I was just doing solo episodes in the beginning, so I was just recording them, not going live like you do. I was just talking to a green dot for 40 minutes, and thinking to myself, no one is going to hear this.
That's the other thing, is like, [00:11:00] you get all this courage to be visible, and then, You're kind of acutely aware that your audience isn't flocking to you like you thought they were going to. What? What do you mean I'm not in the top 10 best selling podcasts yet? What do you mean I'm not right under Stephen Bartlett?
It's been two weeks. I've promoted it three times. I've talked about it within my limited circle.
And then there's the other side of that, which is when you do do the brave thing and you are courageously visible and you do just have faith that if you keep showing up and if you keep putting your stake in the ground for your thing, the thing you stand for. This amazing thing happens, and that is that suddenly someone reaches out for the first time who you've never heard of before.
They're not necessarily in [00:12:00] your circle of connections, and they tell you how much they enjoyed a podcast episode, or something that you've written, or, you know, an interview you've given. And that is like, the first time that happens, happened to me. I remember thinking, Oh my God, now I really need to start doing my hair and makeup.
But yeah, and then suddenly you realize that your reach is never what you think it is. It, you know, you can't predict it and you've just got to blindly have that faith to keep showing up and be brave. Yeah. And I think also it doesn't really matter what the reach is because if one person takes something away.
Any of the episodes that I've published and feels a little bit better or feels seen or heard or, or feels like they're, they're inspired to go and do something themselves. And that's enough really for me, definitely. And it [00:13:00] just, it just takes one and then, you know, you've got the ripple effect afterwards, but just going back to what you were saying earlier about, having that courageous moment where you kind of make that decision that you're going to do this, you're going to push through, even though it's really scary.
My experience is, and, you know, I'd like to hear your view on this as well, is that it's actually, it's not doing anything that's out of authenticity for you, because in, In the background, you, you kind of, you know, we're doing the amazing work that we do with our clients without shouting about it without always being public about it.
Then when we come and decide to be a little bit more visible. Or, you know, go live or, or talk about things a bit more. We are actually just being ourselves. It's, you know, it's a scary step, but it's not something that is [00:14:00] really that unnatural for us. What are your thoughts on that? I just couldn't agree more, and I would actually add to that that anything else isn't sustainable.
It's absolutely unsustainable to try and show up in any way that isn't authentically you. Radically authentically you. Yeah. Because the minute we do that, we, we simply cannot sustain it. We can't. We might be able to do it for a couple of interviews or a couple of episodes, but we're going to struggle.
Number one, I can always tell when someone, I don't know about you, but I can always tell when someone's really trying to portray themselves a certain way, rather than just leaning into the person they are, letting it flow, letting it be natural, letting it be easy. And, and it's so [00:15:00] counterproductive as well, isn't it?
Because the minute we try and be someone we're not, or adopt a standpoint we don't really believe in, or anything that isn't 100 percent authentic and aligned with our own true values. Yeah. I think other people can feel it. You can sense it. And it's not, it doesn't make for engaging content or interviews or podcast episodes or whatever it is you're doing.
No, it doesn't. And, you know, I mean, I'm not saying, That you have to show absolutely everything, warts and all, but being authentic is, is the key to, to find in flow, you know, if you, if you're never going to get into flow, if you're showing up in a way that. Isn't authentic to you or, or feels that you have to put on a persona or, or you have to act in a way that it doesn't feel completely [00:16:00] natural.
It's like you say, A, it's unsustainable because you are kind of acting all the time. And b, it it, it just doesn't lead to you being in flow and it's, you're not going to be able to continue like that at all. And, and I think that could be, you know, a little bit of the danger about. you know, taking inspiration from, you know, other online influences and, and creators who say, okay, well, I did it like this.
So you must also do it like this because it worked for me. And therefore it's going to work for you. It's not. Absolutely. I, and I just couldn't agree more. It's so dangerous. I feel this whole influencer sort of guru led, online world that we operate in is, it can be, it can be fabulous. It can be wonderful.
And, you know, it can be very, very fulfilling. It can also be incredibly toxic and incredibly dangerous for our self [00:17:00] esteem, our mental health because we get this messaging thrust at us all the time, that this is how you have to be if you want to be successful. And the, the kind of ironic thing about that is that all the truly successful people have one thing in common, they're radically authentically themselves.
Yeah. Yeah, like it or love it or hate it. Love it or hate it. Absolutely. Absolutely. But without exception, people who achieve really wild success are people who are brave enough to bring themselves to the table. And you're right. It isn't about being overly vulnerable and sharing. Or your deepest, darkest secrets.
It doesn't have to be about that. Unless that's what feels authentic to you. Then, hell yeah. If it's relevant, and if it contributes to your story, and, you know, that's, you know, how maybe it's part of your purpose. You know, what led you [00:18:00] to what it is that you're doing, or why you want to do something, then, yeah, okay.
But at the same time, I think, and that is reflects, you know, with brands as well, like if and what you were saying about, you know, these hugely successful people, we know exactly what to expect from them, you know, I know how Elon Musk is going to show up. Every time he shows up. I know what he's, you know, what he's the way he thinks and the way he presents themselves and the kind of thing that he does.
I know that. So his personal brand is totally nails because it's authentic to him and we all know what we're going to get. He rarely throws a curveball out there because we'd expect whatever from him. I'll buy Twitter. Yeah. All right. Yeah, it's it's him. So it's kind of expected. I don't know if somebody who was really kind of like.
you know, more of a gray personality and less in the spotlight or limelight or less vocal about their views. When it did that, I'd be like, [00:19:00] Oh, that's a bit of a shock. It's not very aligned. It doesn't feel authentic. Yeah. So it works in the same way. Oh, I love those thoughts. So we talked a little bit about you being out of flow.
Tell me a little bit about, you know, when, when you did start, you started your business, you started a first business, then a second business. And would you say now that you're, you're completely in flow with everything that, that you do and the clients that you're working with? Oh my goodness. I'm very lucky.
I adore what I do. And hang on, judge, just lemme stop you there. I don't think you're lucky, . I don't think you're lucky. You're really good at, you're right, you're right. I shouldn't say that. It not has nothing to do with it. And I'll tell you what, because it isn't just this isn't just me being Hubble and, but I actually have curated particularly my clients.
Mm-Hmm. . So I could say I'm very lucky. All my clients are wonderful. That, but you're right. You're absolutely right. That is not cool because I'm [00:20:00] really, really intentional about the kind of women that I work with. So I only work with women and I work with people. Expressing phenomenal women. And I am absolutely unapologetic about not ever compromising on that because that is how I find my flow in what I do.
Mm mm And, and how, how easy is it for you or how do you approach turning people away if you feel that they're not a good fit and you won't be able to either feel that you're doing your best work or get the best results for them? Yeah, I mean, I have a sign behind me that says don't be a dick. Quite often, the clients who aren't a good fit for me will figure that out when they come on the call with me.
Place it strategically. Exactly, yeah. Anyone who doesn't find that funny, you're going to hate working with me. So I think I'm very clear about the kind of, [00:21:00] Coach, I am the kind of person I am, what it feels like to work with me. I also make sure that I, I actually offer a free 60 minutes of coaching with me before I would ever take someone on as a client, because, you know, someone needs to actually experience how it feels to be coached before they would know whether it was right for them.
And it's not my job to convince them or persuade them that I'm the right coach. That's. That's their decision to make. All I need to do is give them the information that they need to make that correct decision for them. So, so my approach is very much about, you know, the right people. We're just gonna, we're gonna magnetize to each other.
And that is what happens. It's a little bit like going back to what we said at the beginning about that loop of faith of quitting my job. I feel like creating new clients is [00:22:00] a little bit like that. We always want to force it. We always want to be finding clients and, and You know, selling to clients and things like that, you know, I never sell what I do to a client is that I just don't feel like that's my job.
They will make the right decision for themselves. And if if more people could trust that that's true. I think it would take a lot of the client creation process and make it much easier for people. Yeah, I mean, as a, as a business owner, it's not our job to convince anyone about what to do, what steps to take, is it?
It's, it's more about making them aware of, bringing to the fore their situation as it is now and the potential for their situation to change and look a lot differently, which is more aligned with where they actually want to [00:23:00] be. And you know, it's similar, the work that I do is very similar, you know, and I can speak to a brand who says, you know, we've got these dreams, we want to do this, we want to achieve that.
I can say, okay, well, how prepared are you to, you know, put in the work because brand work takes time, you know, it's not, you're not going to see a return on investment within a month or two months. It's not, you know, it's not the push, push of marketing. It's more of a pull. And it's about the way you show up.
It's about nurturing. It's about Bye. Bye. Bye. Not convincing anybody, but certainly influencing the way that they, they think and influencing the way people think about you you know, it's it's like a feeling at the end of the day, isn't it? How they feel about you as a brand. So yeah, there's no time to get involved.
It is, and I, and I think you're right. It's about how How people feel about you, and you're right, I mean that is very brand led, of course. And I think it is important to [00:24:00] know how you want to make people feel. Exactly. That will absolutely govern how you show up. Yeah. You know, I show up in a certain way because I want people to feel relieved that they found someone who can actually help them.
Yeah. I would love people to feel that way. Right. And it's same with you. You know, you want to feel your potential clients to think, Oh, at last I've met someone who gets it. Yeah. Yeah. So a lot of it is about understanding how you want potential clients to feel. Yeah, absolutely. And do you find, you know, and obviously you've got that, that, that hour, which is extremely generous.
Cause I imagine an hour of your time is not cheap. Definitely. Do you find that, do people understand the difference? About the difference between being coachable and not coachable because that's the thing, isn't it? That happens with both mentors and coaches like some people just aren't coachable or They're not willing to kind of let go of their existing [00:25:00] beliefs and habits and the way they do things.
Yeah, so I should probably caveat the generousness of my 60 minutes. First of all, that is that there is like an application form that people will complete when they book a call. Yeah. So if I feel like. I have very intentionally worded questions. And if I feel that it's, I'm not going to be the right coach, I won't waste anyone's time.
So I would tell them before that, but to your point of when people aren't coachable, I think that's a such a good question. And I think a lot of people think that it's coaching that they want, but actually don't really understand what coaching is. is. And I think there were three different hats that business coaches tend to wear.
And certainly I know I do. And one is that the hat that's the consultant that is really a do this thing next. Yeah. The mentor, which is, well, here's what I [00:26:00] did. Yeah. And this is what worked for me. And then there's the coach, which is really much more about asking open questions. How would it make you feel if you did that?
And I think there's, it's understanding how each, what each client wants from you as a, as a coach or as a service provider of any kind to make sure that the client is the right fit and that they are coachable. Why am I doing air quotes on what is potentially a podcast without sound? We do have video, so hopefully people can see it.
I do it on my own podcast all the time and I don't do video. I only do audio and I'm forever doing these little. You could go on America and get quite unquote. Yeah. But there, I definitely have come across a few people who have been, I've, it's [00:27:00] been obvious to me that they're not going to be coachable in the way that I coach people.
And that would tend to be if they have a very fixed idea of what they are and I'm not prepared to do their business. Yeah. And if I can't, if that. If what they are and are not prepared to do isn't in alignment with my ethics and values, then they're not going to get anything from coaching from me because I'm not going to change my own values to suit what they, the way they want to do something.
So I would always make that really clear. So that must be quite intuitive as well though, because I know like from personal perspective and personal experience, like sometimes if I'm really struggling with something, I just want someone to come in and tell me, just do this. Yeah, absolutely. And clients do.
I do have, and And sometimes that's the right thing. Yeah, it is up to me. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, but I think it's really important as a coach [00:28:00] that we are conscious of swapping those hats. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, because there are times when that is appropriate. And I think a business coach who never gives any advice is pretty like redundant.
You know, because absolutely if a client is seeking a business coach, it's unlikely that all they want is pure mindset coaching. Yeah. Most clients who want to work with a business coach really want a little bit of advice on what the best strategy for them would be. Yeah. But it is, but it is intuitive in terms of how you move between those two things really.
Yeah, and that also comes from the relationship that you've built with your clients and it comes back to being in flow with the person that you're working with, doesn't it? Absolutely, because you've got that rapport, you've, you know, you've chosen each other, so to speak. Yeah. So, you know, there is that understanding and that relationship where, you know, they [00:29:00] trust you to be offering them the best service at any given time, which might be the pure coaching, or it might be more of a mentorship role or it, you know, that, that, that's just the way it works, isn't it?
Yeah. And we co create that solution together as well. Yeah. Yeah. We do. We work out together. What? And you know what? It hasn't always been that way for me. I haven't always been as intentional as I am now about perfect clients. So, you know, this is another example of how different it can feel when you're out of flow.
I know when I started coaching, I'd have said yes to anyone because I just wanted to have paying clients. And I have had experiences of clients that I should never have said yes to, and it didn't feel good and taught me so much. It taught me so much [00:30:00] around what a scarcity mindset can do for our businesses.
It taught me so much around having the courage to say no, when I know that no is the right answer. That is, yeah, I mean, but that comes with time, doesn't it? Because I think, and I think it's not just a financial thing, you know what you're referring to. I think yes, you know, starting a business, you kind of start saying yes to who you need to say yes to because you're thinking about, okay, well, this business needs to work.
Otherwise it's not going to survive. Right. At the same time, it's a little, perhaps a little bit about confidence, isn't it? Definitely. About being able to say, to give an empowered no, and having the confidence to, to know or feel that, okay, this isn't right. This is not going to be good in the long term even though it might be a short term fix, we can easily get tied up.
I know I've worked with clients that weren't aligned and, you know, we've, I've never Yeah. I've never thankfully had [00:31:00] a complete disaster in that respect, but I very, very rarely have had a couple of people that I've said, No, I'm not going to work with them in the future, but it could be because I've evolved in different ways as well.
And the services that I first did with them aren't services that I offer anymore or want to be doing anymore. We all evolved, don't we? Yeah, absolutely right. Yeah, I don't think anyone's year five business looks the same as their year one business, that's for sure. Well, we've talked about kind of like the business aspect of things, so You know, outside of work, so you have a life how do you approach, how do you approach getting into flow outside of business?
Well, it's all related, isn't it? Because, you know, if you're probably one aspect of your life, it's very, very likely that you're going to be out of flow [00:32:00] in other aspects of your life. What do you make sure to, to, to do to ensure that that ecosystem of Gill's life is all flowing. You know what? Someone said to me a while back that it's not work life balance we need to to seek.
Balance is the wrong word. It's harmony. And I thought that is such a really good way of looking at it because balance is where you're kind of trying to make them even. So if I'm having a long day at work, then I need to take more off because I've got to balance it out. Yeah. And I don't look at it like that at all.
So if I'm really in flow with work, I'll go all in. I will absolutely do it. Absolutely. Burn the candle at both ends and you know, I'll, I'll sit at my desk for way too long and but I'm loving every minute of it and it feels really good. But the harmony of that is that I also know that that's not sustainable or healthy and I will definitely [00:33:00] make sure that.
I harmonize that with looking after myself outside of work, with making time for people as well. And so I definitely don't beat myself up anymore about trying to find a balance. And that has changed my outlook on it a lot. I think we all know when things aren't harmonious. I think we know when we're giving too much to one area of our lives.
And sometimes, you know, sometimes for me, it's work I'm giving too much to and sometimes actually it's socializing that's getting too much or it's my son and who's getting too much. But generally speaking, I'm pretty good now at getting a harmony that works for me. Yeah. And I know that because I can feel it intuitively.
I know that it's feeling good and it doesn't and that's when I need to make a change. Have you ever done that? Is it the wheel of life? [00:34:00] Have you ever done that word? Oh yeah, I do that with clients sometimes as well actually, because it's really, like you said before, it's never just about business.
There is, there is no business coaching without life coaching too, in a way. There isn't, is it? But we'll come in, and I know that I can say this from experience, that approach coaching, Well, yeah, I want to get my business here and I want to be working on this. But actually that's not the problem. It's something that, you know, it is kind of like under the surface.
It's it's lurking there and that. is what is stopping me from doing what I want to do in my business. It's not, it's not a sit down at your desk and take action issue. It is deep rooted patterns that have built up over years and years of life and decades of doing things in a certain way. Yeah.
Absolutely. You know, sometimes clients come to me and they really [00:35:00] know exactly what they want from their business and they know that how to do it. Yeah. Often the problem is they don't believe they're capable of executing it. Yeah. But they don't know that that's kind of like lingering in the background.
They would never come to you with that specific ask. Would they help me believe that I can do this? Yeah. And I, and I think that's another one, you know, I don't know if, if this happens to men as well, because I'm not a man, but. I know for women that kind of asking for help for yourself is a very difficult ask.
Asking for help in the guise of I can do this for my business, that's okay. I'll invest in my business. Oh, absolutely. Will I invest in myself? That's a, that's a very, that's a bigger ask. [00:36:00] And I think that happens to women a lot, doesn't it? Yeah, absolutely. And I always say to women who struggle with that, that, you know, if you're expecting clients to invest in you, You need to be investing in yourself at least the same level that you're expecting clients to invest in you.
This is true. And that's so important actually. Yeah, yeah. It is, isn't it? Because, you know, we are for, it's a journey. You know? It's, and it, and it's daily work. It's daily work getting up and, and evolving and moving forward. Nobody wants to stay static. It is not like, okay, well I've done that course. That's it.
Now I'm all sorted. Mindset's great. Switched on. Let's go. Not, it's definitely not. I wish it were, I know, actually I don't. If it was like that, I'd be out of a job.[00:37:00]
But you're right, it isn't like that for anyone, however much someone looks like they've got their shit together. No. Everyone has to do the daily work. Yes. Yeah. If they want to succeed, if they want to progress and move forward. Yeah. Yeah. And it's okay. It's okay to admit that, isn't it? And it's okay to be doing that.
Definitely. Oh, Gill, this has been lovely. So tell me, what advice would you have for people who are feeling out of flow, either in their life or in a harmonious way of, you know, in their business life, everything, anything, one particular point, what would your advice be? Absolutely. You know what my advice would be is there is such a power in silence.
So so I've found that for me when there's a lot going on and I'm feeling maybe overwhelmed or something's not feeling right. I know I'm not in flow or [00:38:00] but I, I don't necessarily know what it is. I will literally sit, I've got that yellow chair that I will sit on. Sit in a chair and I will turn everything off.
I will turn my phone off, my computer off. I don't want to keep consuming, you know, because the worst thing we can do when it comes to that is actually, you know, start reading another self help book or listen to another, you know, much as we're both podcasters, you know, that's not the time to start consuming anyone else's voice.
Sometimes when you're feeling out of flow, the best thing you can do for yourself is give yourself some silence and listen, listen to what comes up. Because usually that's when the truth will come up for you about what you need to do. To make things change, to get back into flow. You do know, but you need to be able to listen.
It can be an uncomfortable space, that, the silence. It can, it can. It sounds so bloody simple. Just have a, treat yourself to a bit of silence. But it can [00:39:00] be really triggering. And it can be hard for people to do that. Yeah, yeah, in silence. And I'm not even talking about meditating. I'm talking about sitting in silence.
Yeah, just letting that be whatever it is. Yeah, yeah. I think we'd all be surprised about what comes up if we just shut everything out for a few minutes. It doesn't have to be long, does it? No, it doesn't. Absolutely. I use it as a daily practice now. Okay. And it, because, and it is for me, it's different to meditating because if I say, right, I'm going to set a timer and meditate for 20 minutes, that's different.
This is, this is just maybe it's first thing in the morning before I turn on this monitor, before I look at my phone or anything, maybe just like, right, okay, just sit for a minute. And it might be what comes up is what's coming up that day or How what's been on my mind overnight or [00:40:00] you know? But I I know for sure that if I don't do that and I don't listen I don't start the day in a calm way It's just kind of like emptying everything out before you get started, isn't it rather than coming to your day With all that chatter.
Yeah it's really good for things like writer's block as well and things like that, you know, because I think that we do As humans now, and particularly in the digital world, we consume so much. We read so much, we watch so much, we listen to so much. And I think it ends up crowding out our own creativity.
So actually, you know, taking some silence. To listen to yourself, your own opinions, your own points of view. of you, your own message that you want to get out into the world. That can be really important. And how long would you recommend starting? Because like we said, you know, it can be a little bit of a scary space to start with.
Would you recommend just starting [00:41:00] small, like, you know, two, three minutes or build it up? Yeah, a couple of minutes, a couple of minutes, just a break, but, but with intention, with intention of saying, I am going to be silent for a couple of minutes. And don't, you don't need to time it, you don't need to do anything around it.
It's literally, you know, don't overthink it. It's, it's absolutely about just, just let everything stop for a minute. Let the world stop. Let the world stop for a minute, catch your breath. Nothing's going to happen. Yeah, yeah, that's, that's a really, really good point. You know, nothing's going to happen if you pause.
No, everything will still be there when we open our eyes again. Oh, I love that. I'm going to bring that into my practice, definitely. Oh, I love that, yeah. Yeah. It's really powerful and so simple. Yeah. I would normally go into silence when I'm [00:42:00] driving, but then I'm driving. Exactly. Yeah. So you're still processing.
You're having to look at road signs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But there are days when I kind of like, I can't hear anymore. Don't give me a podcast. Don't give me anything because it's just stupid. I can't take any more. You can't have any more input. No. No, exactly. Yeah, I love that. The emptying out to welcome new things in.
Yeah, that's fabulous. Thank you, Gill. Well, thank you so much for joining me today. I've so enjoyed this conversation. It's been amazing. for having me. I really appreciate it. Thanks for having me Adele. Yeah, it's been lovely. Right. Okay. Well, thanks everybody for watching and we will see you all next week.
Welcome. Welcome to the heads together. Podcast. Ooh, I could something a bit different for you this week. I had the absolute pleasure of [00:43:00] being interviewed by the wonderful Adele Kelly for her LinkedIn live show. Pure flow state. And I thought it would be fun to share it with you. This week, because it was such a good conversation and I think you'll enjoy it. So without further ado, let's dive in.
If you would like to
So, if you would like to find out more about Adele, I'll pop the links you need into the show notes. But without further ado, let's dive into this super conversation.
Welcome. Welcome to the heads together. Podcast. Ooh, I could something a bit different for you this week. I had the absolute pleasure of being interviewed by the wonderful Adele Kelly for her LinkedIn live show. [00:44:00] Pure flow state. And I thought it would be fun to share it with you. This week, because it was such a good conversation and I think you'll enjoy it. So without further ado, let's dive in.
If you would like to
So, if you would like to find out more about Adele, I'll pop the links you need into the show notes. But without further ado, let's dive into this super conversation.
