Gill Moakes (00:02.06)
Welcome, welcome to the Heads Together podcast. Look, you can see me. How exciting is this? You're used to just my voice between your ears and now you can actually see me. How fun. that reminds me of, I can't remember the actress, on Miranda. What fun. I'm Jo Moakes. I am the host of the Heads Together podcast and I am so glad you're here with me.
today. Otherwise talking into this green dot just is much less satisfying. Anyway, today I want to talk about a super important topic. It's actually something that I've been talking about really since the beginning of this month. know we're only on the 14th January. It will be the, I know, just after that when this episode is released.
I've been talking a lot already this year about playing bigger, about really going all in. And what I want to talk to you about today is probably going to make you squirm a little bit, if I'm honest. It is, but it's kind of in a good way because it needs to so that you can address it, right?
So we're talking today about how are you censoring yourself when you create content and what happens when you do? What does it, what effect does it have? And what happens when you go the opposite way and stop centering, stop censoring yourself, right?
Okay, let's dive into the episode.
Gill Moakes (01:56.716)
So if your content feels safe, if it feels watered down, like you're hiding behind a little bit of generic coach speak, I see a lot of coaches who love themselves a bit of coach speak. It is time to change all of that because you know, playing safe does not build connection. And I am putting a stake in the ground this year and I am sharing with you something really important right now.
Peel them back, peel them back. This year, more than any other year, I believe, is going to be a year where connection trumps everything. There is gonna be no amount of clever marketing tactics, TikToks. Actually TikToks, no, that's not right. We'll take that out because...
Gill Moakes (02:57.096)
No amount of AI generated copy, no amount of sort of playing small generic posting on social media, but just ticking the boxes. None of that is going to work this year. This year is going to be completely different because chat GBT all of the different AI options that we have now have taken hold.
And I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I love me a bit of brainstorming with chat GPT. It's really good for that. But if you want to actually build connection, you're going to have to step outside of generic watered down content. And you're going to have to start uncensoring yourself. You're going to have to start getting radically authentic. This is the year for it.
And the good news is, it means that we have a really obvious, direct way to differentiate ourselves. And all it asks for is for us to be us, to be truly authentic. I think that's quite exciting. I think that levels the playing field, actually. And it means that coaches who are passionate about their coaching niche and are
recognised authorities in their thing have thought leadership around their thing they are going to get this chance to stand out like never before because the people who are just good marketers are not going to cut it so that's exciting so
When we censor ourselves, when we play it safe, when we play small, when we try and blend in, like I say, it doesn't build connection. In fact, what it does is it makes you invisible. So in this episode, I want to really unpack why we hold ourselves back.
Gill Moakes (05:00.972)
Why do we do that if on some levels we know that being generic is a fast track to being irrelevant? Why do we still do it? And I want to unpack what being unapologetically authentic can do for your business. So stick around because I'm going to share some very bold, very actionable advice to help you stand up, stand out.
really make your mark so that the people out there who need what you do can find you, can hear you, can see you. It's time.
So why do we censor ourselves? I think the biggest one is the fear of judgment, right? I mean, let's face it, nobody actually likes feeling exposed. It's an uncomfortable feeling. And I think for many of us, fear of someone disagreeing with us or criticizing us, particularly if it's done publicly, that can paralyze us.
right? But you know what, if you are trying to avoid criticism all the time, then you are also avoiding connection. And we've just talked about how this year of all years is going to be the year that connection is a non-negotiable. You are going to have to build genuine relationships. If you are in a coaching business where you are looking to attract
high ticket, high value coaching clients, you are going to have to focus on connection and building relationships. So trying to avoid criticism and therefore showing up in a really generic bland way for fear of standing out is not going to cut it, right? And holding back from saying what you really mean.
Gill Moakes (07:08.76)
because you're afraid of maybe losing followers or of ruffling a few feathers, it isn't going to work because you need to remember people respect honesty. Even if they don't agree with you, people actually respect honesty. There's something going on in America at the moment actually, you know, these awful devastating
LA fires and there's this guy called I'm sure you've heard of him Spencer Pratt. He was from a show called the Hills that was on MTV. Kind of a of a D list celebrity. But he is having this kind of I know a bit of an uprising of support. Actually, he's lost his entire home he and his wife have lost their entire home.
like many people have at the moment and he is really showing up very vulnerably, very honestly, he's calling out a lot of things and you know what there are so many people who can't bear him or there have been a lot of people who can't bear him but I'm noticing something on TikTok when I'm doing my doom scrolling which I do the same as everyone else come on we'll do it.
I'm noticing that there's a little bit of a sea change. I'm seeing people almost kind of... gosh, he is being so honest and so unapologetically supportive of his wife who's this kind of wannabe pop star, I guess.
Gill Moakes (08:56.101)
People respect honesty, even if they don't always agree with it, right?
So I want you to practice, practice saying what you really think, daring to do it, daring to say something that God forbid, you know, someone might not agree with, right?
People, there are gonna be some of you watching now who are not gonna agree with what I'm talking about right now. They're gonna be like, what are you talking about? You're like, connection has always mattered. Why are you trying to frame it like it's some new thing? You know, there's always people who do that. And that's okay, they can have that opinion, but I'm not afraid to share my opinion. No one has to agree, but it's my honest opinion. And I'm absolutely not gonna censor myself.
I think the next thing that we are scared of is...
The next thing that kind of holds us back from really showing up as the raw version of ourselves is this perfectionism, right? And there's this big lie that perfectionism tells you, and that is that you have to have it all figured out before you share anything. Honestly, this is a real biggie.
Gill Moakes (10:24.26)
Perfect content is forgettable content. If it is so slick, sleek, polished, it's forgettable most of the time. It's probably not delivered like this, with my hands waving around the place and my imperfect hair. You know, that's not how perfect content is presented. But perfect content is forgettable content. Right?
Authenticity beats polished content every single time. People actually want to see the rough edges because that's where they find themselves in your story.
Gill Moakes (11:09.122)
The next one I think is the imposter syndrome, our old favourite imposter syndrome. Don't we just love it? So this is the, who am I to say this? Who am I to be this bold? You know, and that's the question that keeps us quiet. It shushes us. But I actually want to flip it. Who are you not to say it? Your perspective
is unique and that is what makes it valuable and that is what makes it essential that you share because there will be people out there who need to hear your way of saying it right no one else can share your insights the way you do
Gill Moakes (12:02.37)
I think another thing that stops us, and this is less about censoring, and more about trying to, it's probably a bit of the perfectionism coming back in, but it's where we mimic others. It's where we try and copy exactly what works for someone else. But the thing is, that by its very nature is trying to blend in.
And you're not here to blend in. You're here because you have a really impactful message to share with the people who need to hear it. So honestly, if your content could just be swapped for someone else's and no one would notice, you are holding back way too much, right?
So what does generic content look like? It looks like playing safe. It looks like avoiding sharing an opinion. It's like skirting around the big ideas and settling for the stuff that's already been said before, that you already know is gonna land okay. That is not thought leadership. That is wallpaper.
That is what generic content looks like. People don't notice it. It's just there. It's just there in the noise. People don't notice it. I think it also looks like trying to appeal to everyone. I don't know how many times I talk about this and I'm not going to apologize for it. This is another one of the times and I'm not going to apologize for that.
When you try and appeal to everyone, the less anyone cares. Right? Because your audience, the people, the clients that you can serve the best, you know, you know, my definition of an ideal client, it's the clients who you love to work with, for whom you get the best results and who have the budget to pay you. That's an ideal client right there. Those people.
Gill Moakes (14:18.626)
do not need you to be everything. They just need you to be you.
And if your content feels like it could have been written by a bloody robot, then it's really time to inject some humanity back into it, some personality. I know I've already said this on this episode, but people are not looking for perfect words. They're not looking for a perfect sound or perfect vision.
There are some minimum requirements for all of those things, right? But they're not looking for perfection. They're looking for a voice they can trust and relate to. And that relating to that is connection. That's what they're looking for.
Gill Moakes (15:13.08)
So what would radically authentic content look like? What would it sound like? I think it's about speaking boldly. And that means saying the thing you're nervous to say. You know the Susan Jefferson book, think, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. I'm always quoting that book. Such a good book. If you haven't read it yet, it's like an OG book. It's like, I don't know if it's probably like the 80s or the early 90s that came out.
Feel the fear and do it anyway, right? Say the thing you're nervous to say, even though you're nervous to say it, because your people, the people who you want to build deep connection with, meaningful connection, those people will respect that honesty. And the wrong ones, they can get their coat and they can keep walking, right? The wrong people don't need...
We don't need to care about what they think of our content. And the truth is, the wrong people probably won't think anything about it. They probably won't notice it. They probably just walkie walkie anyway, because it's not speaking to them. And that's okay. Sometimes we deliberately create content to repel the wrong people. And that is a really bold move, but it's really valuable.
actually creating content that the wrong people are going to be put off by, but the right people are going to be like, whoa, that's the thing. That's the thing we needed to hear. Right?
And you know, I think it's again, it's this isn't about copying someone else. It's about letting your true personality shine through. And that might be that you are a deeply thoughtful person. And you're very reflective, you know, not like me. I'm not apologising for that. I'm just saying that's not who I am. I have probably spent a lot of time over the years.
Gill Moakes (17:23.232)
wishing that I was a little bit more deep and reflective, that's not who I am. So if I try and create content from that perspective, I've tried to do it before and it's not good. It doesn't come across like me. But if that is who you genuinely are, you're going to create incredible content if you allow that to shine through. Right? Maybe you're a refreshingly direct person.
You know, let that come out. Your voice is your signature, right? And you get to use it every time you show up. The way you speak, the way you write, the way you show up on camera, all of those things need to be a true reflection of who you are. Because you know what? When someone signs up to work with you, they want
the you that they've signed up to work with to be the same you that they've been experiencing as they've got to know you online. They have an expectation already. So you better have been showing up as the real you because if you haven't, they're gonna know, they're gonna know and they're gonna be disappointed because the reason they raise their hand to work with you is because you were the person that they wanted.
So let it be the real you. That will attract the right clients.
I think really good, uncensored content is when we allow ourselves to be a bit vulnerable. And this isn't about always incredibly raw vulnerability. There's a saying, isn't there, that, you know, share the scars, not the scabs.
Gill Moakes (19:30.552)
And I think that's a really, really sage advice. But people do want to see behind the curtain. They do really want to see the things that you've struggled with, that you're now out the other side of and can share insight on. But they want to see what those lessons are. And they want to see your process. they want to see, they want transparency around how you do what you do.
right? And that does ask for you to be a bit vulnerable. It means, you know, maybe things behind the scene aren't as polished. Maybe, maybe you've got this idea in your head that you need to pretend that you have a team of 10 people rather than it just being you doing everything behind the scenes. You know, hands up who hasn't invited, sorry, hands up who hasn't invented an Emma from accounts to reply to, to chase people up for late payments.
I get it, there is a temptation to try and present yourself slightly differently. But actually, coming back again to that real connection, hold back the curtain, let people see the reality of what you do, of everything that you represent and believe in.
That's what will form that deep and meaningful connection.
And I think it's important as well that...
Gill Moakes (21:12.056)
So what can you do? are the actual, you know, I like to give you the actions. What are the actionable steps that you can do to start uncensoring yourself, to start showing up with a bit more courage and authenticity? Well, I think the first place to start is you need to identify where you're holding back because quite often it will be around a particular topic.
that will have you kind of, don't want to talk about that. So review your content, the content that you're creating each week, whether that's on a podcast or YouTube or your blog or your social media content, wherever you share stuff online to show potential clients a little bit of who you are as a coach, wherever you do that, review it and ask yourself, am I saying what I really want to say or am I softening it?
And write down the topics or the opinions that you've been avoiding. Because those are most likely the ones that need your voice the most. Okay?
And the next thing I want you to do is to really make sure that you are crystal clear on your values and your voice. So what do you stand for? What are the things that you are unwilling to compromise on? What do you hate? What do you love? You know, what are the things that actually bring out of you?
a genuinely strong reaction. So all of those things around that make up your personal brand. Get really clear on all of that and let it guide every single piece of content you create because it needs to, it needs, every piece of content needs to be informed by the real truth of what your personal brand is.
Gill Moakes (23:24.152)
So when we think about what are our values, well, what do they mean? Let's not have them as words on a piece of paper. If one of your values is kindness, well, what does that mean in terms of how you show up? What do you do that shows that you value kindness? And if you value kindness, what does that mean that you won't tolerate? That's where we need to be sharing.
Okay. I challenge you to take a small step outside of your comfort zone this week. I want you to post something. I don't care where, don't care what it is, don't care how long it is, short it is, don't care about any of that. I just want you to take this one small step and post something really raw, real or opinionated and see how it feels.
see how it feels and let yourself feel it. So if it feels like you're super exposed and you're nervous and you don't even want to look at your phone to see if anyone's commented on it, allow yourself to feel that.
Okay.
Because you know what, it will never feel as bad the second time. I'm not sure if that's comforting or not, but it's true. It will never feel as nerve wracking as the first time that you put something remotely opinionated out there.
Gill Moakes (25:02.596)
The next thing I want you to do is to forget perfection. Focus on real every single time. Like a typo or an awkward sentence, it's not going to ruin your entire credibility. But I tell you what, hiding behind a facade of someone you're not, isn't that interesting? The thing that we are more worried about, which is like making a mistake, is far less likely to affect our credibility than...
hiding or showing up as someone we're not. I think that's really interesting and it's actually really positive because it gives you that flip of the script to see how important this is.
And another thing you could do is to ask someone you really trust for some feedback. Now I'm talking like a peer or maybe a mentor or even a friend, ask them if what you're putting out feels authentic to who you are. Cause sometimes an outside perspective can actually be really useful to see where you're holding back.
because we can't always see it ourselves. I mean, I think like on a certain level, we kind of know. So chances are, if you do ask someone for feedback, they're probably gonna tell you what you already think anyway. But it can be a good way to pick up on any blind spots that you don't know about too. And you know, it's a bit like anything in business. We have to celebrate our progress.
We have to, as business owners, like no one else really does it for us. So we have to celebrate our progress. So every time you hit publish on something that feels a little bit risky or a little bit outside of what you would normally write about or talk about, that's when you're growing. That is when you are developing as a thought leader, as an authority, as an expert in your thing.
Gill Moakes (27:18.062)
So celebrate every time because it really matters. So when you stop censoring yourself, the bottom line is you will attract the right people. So for all of those people out there, and I do keyword research and I know there are a hell of a lot of people out there who are Googling, how do I attract the right clients?
It's a question that I'm asked all the time. So my answer is, or one of the things that contributes, it's not a single answer, but one of the things that contributes to it is you will attract the right clients when you stop censoring yourself, when you put out content or when you speak in a way that has people say, wow, finally, someone who actually gets me.
someone who gets it, someone who's not afraid to put their hand up and say, yeah, I've felt that in the past too and here's what I learned from it. Or someone who isn't afraid to share some of the messy stuff, the realness of building a business, the realness of being a coach.
Gill Moakes (28:40.408)
Honestly, putting out authentic content when you overcome that pull to censor yourself, when you master that and creating much more like authentic content becomes second nature to you, you're going to find content creation is like a thousand times easier. It's so much easier. It's easier. It's more of a pleasure to share the feedback you get is in
so much more. You know, people will often say, no one ever replies to my emails. I send an email to my list every single week and no one ever replies to me. And don't get me wrong. Generally speaking, people don't hit reply to newsletters as much as they would if they were getting an individual email from someone, right? I get that. But equally, is it because you treat
creating your email every week, like a chore that you have to tick off, rather than I have something important and I want to share it with real impact and authenticity. And so I'm going to speak my truth in this email. Because if you're just ticking the box and putting out a very formulaic email every week, don't expect people to notice and hit reply. But if you can flip the script on that,
and start treating every time that you get the opportunity to interact with your email list, with your followers on social media, with your networking groups, with the people in your world. If you take every single opportunity as one where you can make the connection deeper, where you can make the relationship more real,
That is what will get you results. That is what attracts clients. Okay.
Gill Moakes (30:43.83)
Okay, this is honestly a game changer. think it's, I feel I was gonna say it's one of the most important things. It's one of the most important lessons that you can master in your business. I was gonna say that but then I feel like I always say that so whatever topic I'm passionately talking about, suddenly say this is the most important thing. But you know what, I guess that's because there are
number of important things in my opinion that you need to do within your business. But I think this showing up authentically and nailing authentic messaging really is up there. It really is up there in terms of being game changing for your business.
Okay.
hope you've enjoyed this and being able to see me as well. if you are listening on the podcast, I'll put a little old link to the YouTube show underneath. And if you're watching me on YouTube, you can also listen to the podcast too. The Heads Together podcast, wherever you like listening to podcasts. Isn't that amazing? Don't know where this YouTube journey is going to go. I just got all inspired to create a video.
think it's because I found my old ring light, to be quite honest. I wish I could say it was something a little more strategic than that. But I found this old ring light in my cupboard. was like, my goodness, I give that a go again. Anyway, it's been good to be here with you again. And I'll be back here, same time, same place next week. Bye for now.
